I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
