even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
