but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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