How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
