Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
