Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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