the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
