Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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