my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
