I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
