He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
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thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
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I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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