What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
