whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
