Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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