I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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