Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
