I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
