So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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