I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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