I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
