I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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