omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
