RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
