and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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