we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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