look no pants
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
