idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
