running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
