Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
