you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize