Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
