i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
