i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Randomize
