i can't believe i had my finger in that
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
As shirtless as possible
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
