I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
