yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize