if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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