i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
