i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I AM VODKA MAN
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
