Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
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