Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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