ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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