it hurts more in the daytime
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
