@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
