I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
