i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize