I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She announced her abortion via fbk
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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