nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
