I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
