That's intense
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
