All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize