Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
