She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
