OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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