Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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