Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
a search helicopter?!
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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