the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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