had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
