Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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